I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I can’t think of any solution. What do I do?
When stuck in the “I don’t knows” of life there are some simple remedies.
First it’s good to explore what’s really going on and to do that, might I suggest being “Okay” with the silence?
Sometimes, silence is all we need to have the answer surface. This might not come to you immediately, , but taking some quiet, reflective moments can help “clear the clutter” in the mind enough to have an “Aha moment” arrive.
Secondly, ask yourself “What is it like to not know?” If you are anxious, frustrated, confused or perhaps even disconnected…just FEEL it. Allow whatever surface feelings you have to rise to the surface. It’s only then that you can address the underlying reason for “not knowing” and for not wanting to know.
While doing the above ask yourself, “How do I feel, right now, about answering this question? Perhaps you feel rushed, put upon, more indecisive, angry, or even relieved that the question has FINALLY arrived.
Might you feel childish, silly or petty if you allowed yourself to say out loud what it is that you might be avoiding thinking or feeling? Letting yourself off the hook so feeling this way is another way to get past why you keep saying “I don’t know” to that which you really are seeking an answer.
Have you allowed yourself to take a deep breath and go to the “I don’t know” place in your heart and mind?
If your feelings had a color, taste, look or sound to it, what might that be? Sometimes, connecting to our senses allows us to “name” the emotion underneath the answer we are seeking. For example, if I don’t know if I want to continue in my line of work or in a relationship, what color is it? What does it look like, feel like or taste like? Then resurrect some descriptive words or phrases to describe your answer.
Finally, because we are all unconscious to so much of our thoughts, playfully ask yourself the question, “What, if anything, am I pretending not to know?” This happens when we allow ourselves to let down our defenses. When we say to our Self, “Self, look there’s more to it than meets the eye. What are you pretending not to know while deep down inside you really do know.
This will come in phases. The start is opening up ourselves enough to feel our vulnerability, to peel off the protective layers and reveal to ourselves what we need to say out loud. This question came up because you are ready to begin searching for the answer to “I don’t know.” You’ve been building on this for quite some time, getting stronger with each time it surfaced. These were opportunities to get to the point that you’re at right now. If you stuff it down again, it’ll take all that much more time and angst to revisit it.
As the popular movie stated, “Let the Force be with you.” You are the Force.” You have the strength.
Till next time,