What do CEO’s, entrepreneurs and stay-at-home parents have in common? (and virtually everyone on the planet)
The need to keep growing! Not just in dollars and cents but in terms of their self-mastery. Self-mastery is a never-ending endeavor and it needs to be fed through consistent self-motivation. To achieve this we, as human beings, need to regulate our emotional responses to people and situations so as to avoid that knee-jerk reaction.
How do we avoid that knee-jerk reaction? To coin a common acronym, we need to relate to the “MVP” of our emotions…the Messages our emotions send us, the Value they provide, and the Physical connection, that is, where the emotion “lands” in your body.
M – Our emotions are messages or perhaps messengers, of what is happening or about to happen. Take fear, for example. The message Fear sends is a warning. Our nature is by design intuitive, when we pay attention to it. For some, intuition comes easily, others have to work at it. However, we all have it, it merely takes practice at looking for the signs. Feeling fear can save us from not purchasing a certain stock or bond, it relates that we should travel one path and not another and literally, it can keep us from harm. Anger’s message is to institute boundaries in our life so we don’t go into the emotional block of blame. One more example is joy which tells us that we are experiencing the brain chemicals of endorphins, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. These, in turn, leave us in our “happy place.”
When was the last time you interpreted your emotions as messages?
V – Our emotions are valuable. Over time we learn which ones benefit us and which sabotage us. Through spaced repetition we learn “the lesson” to exhibit one emotion rather than another. They help us determine what is about to happen. And because our emotions are messages, they become our valuable partner in learning greater self-awareness.
When was the last time you gave value to your emotions?
P – Our emotions have a physical component. It may be difficult to understand for those who feel all the time that many people don’t connect their emotions with how their body is feeling. The headache, stomach upset, backache, neck tension, clammy palms, racing heart are all indications that we are experiencing something in our brain and that is being translated to our bodies in the form of warning signs. We may call it fear or anxiety, but the fact is that we are having a physical reaction to something we are either thinking or experiencing.
When was the last time you connected your physical reactions to one of your emotions?
You created your emotional sensitivities in your formative years. Unconsciously, you strengthened those sensitivities every time you’ve reacted to your “trigger” issues, that is, the hot-buttons that leave you vulnerable. In contrast, you also created your positive reactions to life events. In doing so, those, too, come up easily when you have a happy moment in life. Unfortunately, some people don’t get the chance to come out of that repetitive cycle of the negative responses. However, that’s where practicing the “MVP” of your emotions can help.
How do I change and strengthen my new emotional response?
The next time you have a particularly negative response to someone or some situation, remember how the Message, the Value, and the Physical component of every surfaced emotion is the ticket to solving your responses. You’ll see the following progress:
- You’ll recognize that “Emotion xyz” has, in the past, held you hostage because of your former reaction and that you have a choice to change how you react.
- You’ll want a better outcome and you’ll take responsibility for that emotional reaction.
- You’ll see a gradual reduction in the intensity, duration and frequency of your “trigger” issues.
It’s a no-brainer… (actually, we need our brain for this).
Just think, “What is the “MVP” of my emotion telling me?